Mundo Lifework
A Consultant's Tale
I was at the point in my life where I could no longer fool myself: I had to face my assumption that "other people" were at fault about the things that were happening in the company where I am a consultant and project manager. During my time there, I became convinced that I needed to forcefully express my views in order to get my point across. Although I realized that this wasn't an effective strategy, I couldn't seem to change the automatic way I'd react to dominant males in leadership positions. I was in a bind, because I'd been hired for my competency as a business consultant and was expected to bring my skills and judgment to new situations, which I did. But, I also brought my anger.
In my work with Jan, I was able to release the pain of specific childhood events that resided as tension in my body. (Frankly I had grown so accustomed to this tension, that I didn't realize I had it, or where and how it affected me.) As a result of our work, I became less afraid of being attacked. I could finally relax my shoulders without feeling like I needed to puff-up, or don a breast plate, for protection. I could sit, shoulders dropped, enter into a deeply centered place within myself, and access the information and wisdom that people count on me for. Prior to working with Jan, it was impossible for me to find or inhabit that space within my body and my self, because surviving my childhood intact required that I protect myself and fight if necessary.
My life at work has changed. I feel more flexible when I listen and speak, even when I have a slightly different view of situations and events. In this way, I can more fully accomplish the job I was hired to do: bring experienced perspective! I am not afraid to have a different opinion, nor am I fearful of being discouraged from expressing myself. My priorities have shifted: it's less important to have my ideas adopted, than it is to contribute to inventing something new with the whole group. In this way, being and expressing myself are easier, and I can make a bigger contribution.